Brave

It's been nearly a year since I've blogged anything, holy. cow. haha

I just wanted to share this song and my thoughts on it. My Pastor, Terri Wright, turned this song on tonight at Xquisite ladies group.

ya'll know I surf and I have a great great passion for it. I couldn't imagine not surfing. I have this tick in me that wants to go to Costa Rica for missions and surf camps here for kids, it's a real huge passion and it is my heart beat.
I've had a really rough week and I've gotten to the point of not sleeping, not eating normally, withdrawing from things that I'd love on any other given day...Until Tuesday. I was literally laying in bed crying my eye balls right out of my face when I got up and got on my knees and just said "you know what, God, this isn't worth it. I surrender. I know there is freedom in surrender, I know you can give me joy and I just want to be happy again. Please take this from me and make me happy." And let me just tell you I've had to do that same exact thing more than once in the past day! But He took it all. I'm happy. I feel like I can DO life. I'm refocused and I'm sleeping and eating and it feels amazing.

Then this song came on tonight and I was just reading the words on the screen just floored. His love for me is so so great, guys.
"As Your love, in wave after wave Crashes over me, crashes over me. For you are for us, You are not against us, Champion of Heaven You've made a way for all to enter in....
You make me brave, You make me brave.
You called me beyond the shore into the waves."

Let me just tell you guys, This guy that we call God that we take so lightly so much of the time (I'm completely guilty of this) has such an intense love for us. Have you ever seen heavy surf? Have you ever been out in big surf? I've had to climb up my leash a few times in Costa Rica, I've seen 14-17 foot DUMPING in Hermosa that killed people earlier in the day, I've watched the waves come up and hit an exposed reef, I've seen the power of this water and the energy that it gives off and His LOVE is like that. It crashes over us and holds us down, sometimes until everything around us fails so that we can know his great strength and love for us. Other times it's quiet and glassy but it's always there and it's strength is never forgotten.

And His calling on your life is so huge. I am positive that Bethel/Amanda Cook/writers of this song has no idea how this one song has spoken to me. You called me beyond the shore into the waves. That's so beautiful in both the physical and the spiritual. He called me to go deeper with Him. He called me to get out in that water and not be afraid of the conditions but to just go and enjoy it.
I'm so glad God can speak to me in such intimate ways. Praise God.

You Make Me Brave

like a bride planning her wedding..

"The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand" Psalm 37:23&24

This evening I got home from a beautiful wedding and read this verse and the first thing that shot into my mind was regarding the sentence "He delights in every detail of their lives".

Like a bride planning for her wedding. She picks out the big things and little details. Big things like the venue, her dress, her wedding party, all the way down to the silverware, center pieces, manicures and table cloths. 

Brides-to-be obsess about every detail of their wedding from the time she gets that ring until just minutes before she walks down the aisle to her husband, and sometimes even before she gets the ring. The way a bride obsesses and delights in every little detail depicts what God does with His children. He watches every detail, He obsesses over us. 

For me, on this day, that is a very comforting thought. Things that have blown up in my face the past few days have been hurtful, leaving me asking "why me? What did I ever do to deserve this??" 

But just laying it in His hands and letting Him obsess over this situation is so much easier than me taking it head on all by myself. I'm thankful that He obsesses over me. I'm thankful to be called His little girl, His child. 

Joel 2

Verse 12, ..."Come with fasting, weeping and mourning. Don't tear your clothing in your grief, but tear your hearts instead. Return to the Lord your God, for He is merciful and compassionate, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. He is eager to relent and not punish. Who knows? Perhaps he will give you a reprieve, sending you a blessing instead of this curse......(pick up at verse 19)The Lord will reply, 'Look! I am sending you grain and new wine and olive oil, enough to satisfy your needs. You will no longer be an object of mockery among the surrounding nations.........(verse26) Once again you will have all the food you want, and you will praise the Lord your God, who does these miracles for you. Never again will my people be disgraced...(28) Then after doing all those things I will pour out my Spirit upon all people." It keeps going but let's stop. I already skipped tons..

It's an If-Then promise. Basically, IF you eat your pride, sit yourself down and return to God with fasting and mourning, gather your people and pray and repent of your sins and turn from your wicked ways, God will THEN turn your curse into a blessing, He will show his unfailing love rather than His wrath, He will tell your enemies to get lost, and He will restore not only what you lost, but give you more than what you had. Notice in verse 26 it doesn't say "all the good you need"...no, all the food you WANT. (as a side note, do we as humans ever want something we don't need? case rested.)

I don't feel like God is always a Joel-Osteen-guy, because the truth is that we are His children, and like all children we disobey and get in trouble. He will not let us just sit in our disobedience and continue to give us all these good things, because it wouldn't be good for us. Eventually, by the grace of God, He will bring punishment on us so that we turn from our ways and do good. He doesn't want to do this, just like parents don't want to give their children spankings and ground them. But He has to because He is also a holy, just God. And His word will not come back void.

This portion of the Bible I hold close to my heart, because I'm going through a bit of a rough time. I haven't been obeying well in an area of my life, and I'm turning from that. Thank You Lord that I'm not promised what I deserve, but restoration and blessings. 

I hate "society"

I'm really just venting right now..

But I hate hate HATE society's opinion mattering in my life. Like....
people see photo's of my boyfriend and me and the first thing they say is "he looks like a decent guy. He just needs a hair cut."
SINCE WHEN did a HAIR CUT dictate whether a person is or is not a good person?!?!?! Maybe, juust maybe, he LIKES his hair like that, and Maybe I like his hair like that! So, who are you to butt in and tell me that he needs a hair cut. shut. up.
oh he doesn't know what he's doing after high school? that's not good, Lisa!
uhm...I didnt know what I was going to do with my life after high school!!! At a freaking CHURCH service I announced to the entire congregation that I was going to become a professional beach bum. And I was serious. If you really think that I'm going to work work work the rest of my life, you're kidding yourself. I'm a hard worker, don't mistake that. But I will not be a workaholic the rest of my life. heeckk no.
This is just a small example of the big one I'm struggling through right now..

And since when did everyone else's opinions about my life matter? When did we start letting others opinions dictate what we do and when we do it and how we do it? I'm so sick of it all. It makes me want to scream. I'm just so frustrated with this passive mentality right now. I think it's time to grow a back bone and say "HEY! This is what I'm going to do whether you like it or not. But your opinion about this action I'm taking doesn't matter because I've made up my mind. If you don't like it, buh-bye! DO NOT stick around and whine and complain to me about it. gooooo awaaaay."

But you see, I can be a very kind, nice person just to turn around and be extremely rude. I could piss the whole world off so quickly just because I really don't care what most people think about me. Even people whose opinions would normally matter to me! When it comes to some things, I don't care. good or bad, I don't know really. But again, I really don't care....

getting back up.

I wrote this in a letter to by dearest boyfriend...but I think everyone can hear this and get something or another from it.


I just want to remind people of something.
"Though a righteous man falls seven times, he will get up, but the wicked will stumble to ruin."
Proverbs 24:16

In the new testament, Peter denied Christ three times, even after Jesus told him that he would do it! He was warned, and three entire times, just as Jesus had warned, he denied Jesus when He needed Peter the most.

Peter really messed up, yeah. But let us remember that Peter was also the one who preached to thousands of people just weeks later and thousands of people accepted Jesus as their savior and started living radical lives for Him.
Jesus didn't beat Peter with a stick. He fulfilled him. Jesus healed the broken and hurting spots in Peters heart and soul and then sent him out to do good things for Himself.

So how can we relate this to today's world? Well, I relate it to several things but the example I will use on the internet will be my diet!
I have a very strong conviction about my body being a temple of Holy Spirit. I try my best to do well. I try to eat right, I exercise, I make an effort to stay fit. A lot of people tell me "Lisa, you're too much of a health freak.." But I dont think I am, because I'm just wanting to take care of myself.
But I still mess up. I eat that piece of chocolate. Today, I had a chicken sandwich from Sonny's, fries, and Pizza the latter half of my day. All that is is carbs, and it's my personal conviction that carbs are not good for me to consume a lot of. I try my best to limit my intake of carbs, fats, sugars and cheese.
point is, I messed up just today on my diet. I also messed up because I didnt make it to the gym for the leg workout I was supposed to do yesterday. But what do I do? I can't go back in time, I can't puke what I ate up, and I don't want to feel guilty the rest of my life. So tomorrow, I'm going to eat right and I'm going to get that leg workout in. I fell off my diet and exercise regiment. But I'm hopping right back on tomorrow.

So don't let things pound you into the ground. We aren't supposed to feel guilt and condemnation over our wrongs.God wants us to get up, dust ourselves off and continue the race. So what if we mess up again? That's why He sent His son, Jesus to forgive our sins. If He wanted us to live perfect lives He wouldn't have given us a "oh-crap-I-messed-up" option.
It's OKAY to mess up. Just get back up and continue the race the Lord has set before you. 

watch out for those who take refuge in the secret place.

To the people who have recently...
lied through your teeth right to my face, completely disrespected me, both as an adult and as a child of God, been un-just towards me and towards the people I love. Yes, to you who are convinced that you have done nothing wrong and that you have a "right" to be or do something. Who has with-held things that you have absolutely no right to with-hold. To you...

Just remember that God see's every single thing you do. He knows every intention. The things you are doing do not go unseen and they will not go ignored, because this little daughter of the King's is talking to Him about it. She's upset. She's hurt. She feels trapped. But she's talking to Him who knows all, in the secret place. She's working on being humble. She's working on loving the people who have hurt her so badly. She's trying to not worry about it, and she's trying to not let it bother her...but she has given it to the All Powerful One.

and here's another little tid-bit for you....
He will not let her cries go unheard. He will not let her pleading go unanswered. He will insure that Justice comes through for this little girl. He will not let the un-justness continue, and He will not allow it to go uncorrected.


Something that I think AMERICA's culture misses is that we have no rights. Sure..."what about our Constitution?"
That still doesn't mean we have any rights at all. Not in the Kingdom of God. So if you claim to be a Christian, you'd better believe that you have no rights except those permitted by His word.
"I have a right to disrespect you because you have disrespected me and I'm an adult and you're not. So it's okay."
WRONG.
two wrongs do not make a right, and if you're the adult, you should be mature enough to "do unto others as you would like to be done to you"
grow up.

but to those of you who even question if they have done any of the things listed above....just watch. you just watch. Because I have been getting mentored in this area. I have talked to God night after night, day after day about it. And it will not go un-noticed. Just watch.

let's just get real.

Dad encouraged me last night by saying this:

God promises that He will never give us anything we can't handle. Truth? Yes.
So, if that's the case, then He actually TRUSTS us with situations..So if I look at my life and think "wow...it's like I have problem after problem!" That's more like God saying "yeah, you do have problem after problem. But you're strong enough to handle it. I trust you with these situations to do the right thing."

So that's encouraging, especially because for me, it literally is like problem after problem. Issue after issue, and I can't confront the person I need to confront for another few months because IF I did, I would make things harder on myself.
(Only three or four people know of this particular situation..)

But even after these encouraging words, I can't help but think, especially as I scroll down facebook, "wow...you guys are so incredibly lucky...you're going to State in 4 different events, you're hanging out with your boyfriend/girlfriend without anyone breathing down your back, you can speak your mind freely, you don't live like you're walking on egg shells, you don't worry about some of the things I have to worry about,  you never, EVER had to live through most of the things I've been forced to live through, you are not injured and still hurting over things that happened a year ago..."
the list goes on and on. And I understand that I don't know everything about everyone. Everyone has their own little secrets. Cool.

I know I have victory. I know my enemy will be my footstool, I know they will have to watch me feast and they won't get any of the good food I get, I know I will be blessed, I know I will have peace and that justice in this situation will take place. And I know for a fact that in the next few years, the decisions that they are making now is going to come back and bite them right in the butt. And it's going to hurt like crazy. But that is what they're basically on their knee's begging for..

I know I've already been through a crap-load of stuff! I know I already have an awesome testimony about things that have just gone right for me. I am thankful for all of this.

But I'm still staring this battle down. I'm still having to deal with stuff I shouldn't have to deal with! And the fact that God trusts me with this is cool...but that doesn't mean I take pleasure in dealing with all of this. I'm currently doing better...I don't cry EVERY day. Probably every other day now.

This situation is teaching me some things too. Maybe that's what God's doing here...
1) I'm not here to kiss up to people's buttholes who think they are gods. THEY are the ones at fault here and if THEY don't take correction, if THEY aren't being convicted then that's their own problem.
2) It's taught me how to look for the fruits of the Spirit. And to not be extremely surprised when you DON'T find them.
3) It's really taught me to not get bitter and to forgive and not think "b*tch.." every time one particular name comes up.
4) Keeping a humble, teachable spirit will keep people from thinking "B*tch.." about me. ;) To not insist that I'm always right and to take correction.
5) It's taught me how to stand. and when I can't stand anymore, to continue to stand.
6) It's taught me to completely IGNORE what people think or say about me. What the heck does it matter anyway? Am I really going to let one person's stupid, unlearned opinion about me matter? no. Am I going to find beauty in myself and encourage myself in that? yes...
7) It's taught me discretion on how to handle immature people. Yes, I AM saying that I am more mature than the other person involved. And I say this without shame, and I'm not bragging. It's just true.
8) It's taught me how to view the situation from the other person's perspective, as twisted and wrong as it is.
9) It's taught me to not trust a living soul out there. I trust the people closely surrounding me, but no one else. And that's perfectly fine and healthy.
10) and it's teaching me how to beef up and correctly confront the other person involved. This has not taken place, neither will it for a few more months, but that's my exact point. correct confrontation is confrontation with the right words, the right attitude, and the right timing. And in some cases, with the right witnesses.

I view my life as an accelerated version as everyone else's life. If you knew some of the things I've dealt with and lived through, you would agree. I've matured far faster than a lot of people. Everyone is always going to think that I am too young for what I'm trying to accomplish. But that's okay. God knows I'm ready for what I'm battling or going for. If you think I'm too young for the things I'm doing then take it up with God. :P