18 hit. Senior year started. i've kept myself busy to the extreme with swimming and school and trying my very hardest to fit surfing in, though as of today i haven't been out in over a month -___-
i've brought my times down for swimming significantly since last year. im fighting to get to state, but we'll see how it pans out. this weekend is Conference. i need to beat a lot of people there to get to state. i've been training hard. hopefully it will pay off.
my plans are, now, to go to UNF for a 4 year degree in personal fitness. Possibly swim for UNF's team and if not ill join the surf team for sure. I already have most of my freshman year done thanks to BCC, so i might be able to get this done in about 3 years if i keep with the suggested schedule. I want to be a personal trainer and i want to volunteer my time at Duval County's schools as a coach because last i heard they were looking at cutting many sports out of the schools. This really is not good for kids because 1) it makes getting a college scholarship for swimming (for example..) really really hard if not impossible. and 2) i've seen where some kids wouldn't even engage themselves in school if it weren't for sports. to me, volunteering a few hours of my day to coach a team would be a great way to spend my time.
if i don't go to UNF ill hit up Daytona and live in either the port orange area or ON the beach. :)
now, i am trying to get some scholarships lined up so school isn't outrageously expensive. and im trying to get a job so that i can afford to move out and live on my own AND buy a car.
i cannot believe that summer is over already! that it's already october!! this year has gone by soooo quickly. which scares me, because people always talk about how years start passing super fast and you never get to live your life to it's fullest...
next month i'm supposed to go on a road trip to Pennsylvania to see my sister for thanksgiving. and then to Georgia again in December for the Winter Ramp. and then next summer im going to Costa Rica with Epic Surf Ministries. i feel like i need to cut one of these out so i have time to just take a deep breath. Costa is NOT being cut out.
a myriad of different emotions seem to be swarming through my head about so many different things that i honestly don't know what to do with them all.
im in one of those really awkward phases concerning church. i am still in high school, a senior, but my youth group has so many YOUNG youth (or less mature..) that i feel like i can't relate to anything we're talking about.
at the same time i am 18, so i fit into the young adults' status...but most of the young adults are in their early twenties to thirties....my issues, concerns and problems are tiny compared to theirs', and i can't relate to them either.
my issues, concerns and problems are not whether i can keep a job or that my boss is being a butt head. they are not about a teenage crush or guys stalking my every move or what drama went down at school today. my issues, concerns and problems are working hard to graduate high school, figuring out scholarships, finding an apartment and roomies, what EXACT program to go into and at which college, finding a job, and trying my hardest to please my parents while im trying to feel my way through all this. and maybe this doesn't seem real to many people, but it's real to me. i talked to a friend today for two entire hours. it's their freshman year in college. TWO HOURS. do you know how long it's been since i talked to anyone for that long and didn't get bored with it? it's because we were able to relate to each other.
so where am i left? im left with not going to church except on sundays. and even then, i have no idea what to do with myself. i hate that i feel this way, but i do.
i am in desperate need of friends my age.
anyway, after high school a whole new set of worries and concerns will clutter my table. ill move out and start college. then, for the next 3 years all i can imagine myself worrying about is school, my job, and boys. lovely. i have so much to look forward to.
i've brought my times down for swimming significantly since last year. im fighting to get to state, but we'll see how it pans out. this weekend is Conference. i need to beat a lot of people there to get to state. i've been training hard. hopefully it will pay off.
my plans are, now, to go to UNF for a 4 year degree in personal fitness. Possibly swim for UNF's team and if not ill join the surf team for sure. I already have most of my freshman year done thanks to BCC, so i might be able to get this done in about 3 years if i keep with the suggested schedule. I want to be a personal trainer and i want to volunteer my time at Duval County's schools as a coach because last i heard they were looking at cutting many sports out of the schools. This really is not good for kids because 1) it makes getting a college scholarship for swimming (for example..) really really hard if not impossible. and 2) i've seen where some kids wouldn't even engage themselves in school if it weren't for sports. to me, volunteering a few hours of my day to coach a team would be a great way to spend my time.
if i don't go to UNF ill hit up Daytona and live in either the port orange area or ON the beach. :)
now, i am trying to get some scholarships lined up so school isn't outrageously expensive. and im trying to get a job so that i can afford to move out and live on my own AND buy a car.
i cannot believe that summer is over already! that it's already october!! this year has gone by soooo quickly. which scares me, because people always talk about how years start passing super fast and you never get to live your life to it's fullest...
next month i'm supposed to go on a road trip to Pennsylvania to see my sister for thanksgiving. and then to Georgia again in December for the Winter Ramp. and then next summer im going to Costa Rica with Epic Surf Ministries. i feel like i need to cut one of these out so i have time to just take a deep breath. Costa is NOT being cut out.
a myriad of different emotions seem to be swarming through my head about so many different things that i honestly don't know what to do with them all.
im in one of those really awkward phases concerning church. i am still in high school, a senior, but my youth group has so many YOUNG youth (or less mature..) that i feel like i can't relate to anything we're talking about.
at the same time i am 18, so i fit into the young adults' status...but most of the young adults are in their early twenties to thirties....my issues, concerns and problems are tiny compared to theirs', and i can't relate to them either.
my issues, concerns and problems are not whether i can keep a job or that my boss is being a butt head. they are not about a teenage crush or guys stalking my every move or what drama went down at school today. my issues, concerns and problems are working hard to graduate high school, figuring out scholarships, finding an apartment and roomies, what EXACT program to go into and at which college, finding a job, and trying my hardest to please my parents while im trying to feel my way through all this. and maybe this doesn't seem real to many people, but it's real to me. i talked to a friend today for two entire hours. it's their freshman year in college. TWO HOURS. do you know how long it's been since i talked to anyone for that long and didn't get bored with it? it's because we were able to relate to each other.
so where am i left? im left with not going to church except on sundays. and even then, i have no idea what to do with myself. i hate that i feel this way, but i do.
i am in desperate need of friends my age.
anyway, after high school a whole new set of worries and concerns will clutter my table. ill move out and start college. then, for the next 3 years all i can imagine myself worrying about is school, my job, and boys. lovely. i have so much to look forward to.
No comments:
Post a Comment