He is Worthy.

hi, this is for all the people out there who are hurting. for all the people that can view this, who have been hurt by someone. who are trying to love the one who hates you like Jesus says to.

"that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, on heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." Philippians 2:10-11

i personally got some really nasty really horrible news today as i was sent to the bank and walmart. thank God for blaring music and windows that open..

Holy Spirit reminded me of this verse. :) 

EVERY knee will bow and EVERY tongue WILL confess that Jesus Christ is Lord....

 all the angels in heaven, the creatures that are covered with eyes, every person on the earth, every animal in the world, and even every demon in hell will HAVE to confess that Jesus is Lord. 

He died for our own victory. He died so that we could live as DIFFERENT people, not to live like everyone else. and He has not forsaken us, and He never will. His great love for every person walking the earth is still there...

but He IS worthy. and He WILL receive His glory. and when He comes back, He WILL receive every bit of glory He is due. 

this verse makes me feel victorious. because right now, people can spit in my face. they can try to tell me off. they can beat me down and their actions can scream "I HATE YOUR GOD!" but this isn't the end of the story. 

they will have to bow at His name. no one has authority over Him. no one has more power. He is a good good God, who is just and beautiful and full of love and grace and mercy. and He is glorious and worthy. 

pure abandon

let me set up the back round to all that im going to try to say.

yesterday my brother, Jeremy, and i had a long conversation. he was saying a lot of stuff about picking  up the cross and dying to myself. i wont go into detail because that's coming later. i basically sat there and was trying so hard to be humble and listen to him. i felt in my heart that everything he said was right and true. but i didnt want to accept it, because what he was saying would require me to give up [for a SMALL time] something that i love dearly: surfing. it hurt just to think about it, because i know there's suuuuper beautiful waves this weekend and i need all the practice i can get.

i woke up this morning to Justin Rizzo. if you listen to all his songs on this album, it pretty much just encourages you in this. it's really good.

am i sowing to the spirit or am i sowing to the flesh? im doing one or the other all the time. happy holiness and joyful righteousness...as i give it ALL away. i will not despise the sowing of seeds because i know in due time i will see the fruit of my labor for all of eternity. What am i living for? if im living to give glory to Him, it's all worth it. but without His glory, there's nothing; because nothing in this life will never truly satisfy like the desires of His heart. there is weight in what im doing. He sees me, when i struggle to take my thoughts captive, as i try to fast, truly, and seek His face over all the things i love. He sees me murdering my flesh right now.
and in all this, He's given me a choice to choose to go deeper with Him or to stay where i am.
that's really the decision i had to make.

give up super rare, really beautiful, good waves this week or two,  and go after God with everything that's in me and GET it?

~or~

go surfing. pass up God, put Him off for a bit and not get as far as i want.

well. Holy Spirit was jumping in me to go after God and give up surfing for a short time.
so for a week or two, im not going out. im fixing my thoughts on Him.

and i know, there's a few of you out there saying "wow...this is hard for you lisa? that's dumb."
well. yes. it is. you ask any surfer out there who really loves what they do. you ask them if they'd give up  a weekend of surfing super nice waves. get real.
"this momentary light affliction is working in me." -Justin Rizzo
this is as momentary and as light as it will ever get, but it's still working in me in big ways. and ill consider it pure joy.

that's all i have to say.

"He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.."

does anyone else agree that growing up sucks?

changes happen all the time, but this one HUGE change takes place in your life around our age [well..the age im currently at. 17-19 ish] and the scariest thing is 1) you're graduating high school. 2) moving out and about 3) all your friends that have been there for you every moment of every day all your life is moving out and about.

some stay in town. others go half way around the world. it's a scary thing. it sucks. going through some big stuff, and the people you're closest to can't be physically here with you. sometimes, we're caught in between two places and two groups of people. both, you love extremely, but being in this spot in the middle just sucks so much because of your love for both of them. the scary unknown is out there, you have an idea of what you might be stepping into, but it's still all so uncertain. you have learned through the years that you can make plans, but God just screws them anyway, so what's the point unless He says so? and sometimes, God seems to be really quiet..

well, i read something this last night in taylors car, writing it on Jeremy's shirt for his going away...

"Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you." Proverbs 4:25. 

at the moment i thought nothing of it, really. it was underlined in her bible that i flipped open and it just sounded right for the shirt. i had no idea that God was talkin' to me.

this morning, i read in colossians 1. im going to mix NLT and NIV, because i like the wording in both. 

"Christ is the visible image of the invisible God. He existed before anything was created and is supreme over all creation, for all things were created by Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him, all things hold together. And He is the head of the body, the church; He is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that everything He might have the supremacy [or NLT:So He is the first in everything] 

then The Entry came on my mp3 in math by matt gilman. 

in those verses and in this song, all of my jumbled fears and thoughts are put at peace. yes, im still freaked out a little. im still sad that i wont see my brother for three months after may 2nd, and im still sad that i havent been to EPIC in a super long time, and that i cant 'til beginning of May because of my schedule. and im still sad, because i already see the 'hurt' that will take place in my heart after this summer.. but at the same time, in all these insecurities and freaked-out-ness, i know He's there. and He has a plan. and He is first in everything, whether i want Him to be or not. and everything is going to be okay, because He said so. 

He's good. He's so good to me. 

to whom do i belong?

recently, consciously-subconscious, i have wondered "where in the world do i belong?" again, consciously-subconscious, i've answered "i belong in His presence." and left it at that, in a shallow state without any depth or meaning to it. before i come to this answer, i always contemplate "Jacksonville? Cocoa Beach? Costa Rica? Indonesia? Australia? South Africa? California? Hawaii?"
all these spots fly through my mind before i finally settle with "His presence."

i just CONSCIOUSLY figured out what answer i actually needed. it's not a physical place. the right answer for the type of question this is isn't His presence [i wont try to explain. im sure whoever is reading this has understanding of what im talking about. if not message me and ill attempt to explain my heart.]

it's not really "where" do i belong, but to whom do i belong. i had no idea i was battling with this 'til Holy Spirit said what He said to me.
All He said was "you are Mine. and you will be with Me." one small phrase. and then all of this hit.

i wonder, how would relationships and dating change in the teen-world if we all really got this? that we will be with Him, and that we are His? and that we were created for His pleasure, and He takes total and complete delight in us. and that He shaped every figure, every cell, every emotion and personality trait. and in all of our "flaws" and "plus's", He takes delight in each and every one, because He made them. and He's teaching us. and that He's called each and every one of us BY NAME. when He spoke us, He didn't just say "Lisa Wall", but within my name is a purpose and mission to complete on the earth. and that He takes utter delight in watching us grow and learn and embrace His kingdom and complete our individual mission on the earth.