"He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.."

does anyone else agree that growing up sucks?

changes happen all the time, but this one HUGE change takes place in your life around our age [well..the age im currently at. 17-19 ish] and the scariest thing is 1) you're graduating high school. 2) moving out and about 3) all your friends that have been there for you every moment of every day all your life is moving out and about.

some stay in town. others go half way around the world. it's a scary thing. it sucks. going through some big stuff, and the people you're closest to can't be physically here with you. sometimes, we're caught in between two places and two groups of people. both, you love extremely, but being in this spot in the middle just sucks so much because of your love for both of them. the scary unknown is out there, you have an idea of what you might be stepping into, but it's still all so uncertain. you have learned through the years that you can make plans, but God just screws them anyway, so what's the point unless He says so? and sometimes, God seems to be really quiet..

well, i read something this last night in taylors car, writing it on Jeremy's shirt for his going away...

"Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you." Proverbs 4:25. 

at the moment i thought nothing of it, really. it was underlined in her bible that i flipped open and it just sounded right for the shirt. i had no idea that God was talkin' to me.

this morning, i read in colossians 1. im going to mix NLT and NIV, because i like the wording in both. 

"Christ is the visible image of the invisible God. He existed before anything was created and is supreme over all creation, for all things were created by Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him, all things hold together. And He is the head of the body, the church; He is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that everything He might have the supremacy [or NLT:So He is the first in everything] 

then The Entry came on my mp3 in math by matt gilman. 

in those verses and in this song, all of my jumbled fears and thoughts are put at peace. yes, im still freaked out a little. im still sad that i wont see my brother for three months after may 2nd, and im still sad that i havent been to EPIC in a super long time, and that i cant 'til beginning of May because of my schedule. and im still sad, because i already see the 'hurt' that will take place in my heart after this summer.. but at the same time, in all these insecurities and freaked-out-ness, i know He's there. and He has a plan. and He is first in everything, whether i want Him to be or not. and everything is going to be okay, because He said so. 

He's good. He's so good to me.