love....hurts? part 2

first id like to say, i really appreciate the people around me. my brothers and sisters who continually encourage me, even when it's not necessarily something i WANT to hear. :) and for the Ramp and their status updates that come to my phone :)
"how do we know we love God? we love people. 1 John 4:8"
that verse reads, starting in verse seven...
"Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love."
Jesus uses people to encourage me, and then He encourages me. and. ahh. Jesus. <3
this encourages me, because i was kind of complaining, but not really, but..yeah. kinda complaining that i love people.
"God, some of these people that i love ive known for a short time. others I've known for forever. why do You let me love them all so much? WHYY do You let me do things that hurt?"
love does hurt, because of various different factors. but "love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance." [1 Corinthians 13] it also doesnt count the cost.
soo...no matter how much it costs me, and no matter how hard the circumstance may look to me, if i love God, i love people. [and vice-versa]
it later says in the chapter "..since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and His love is brought to full expression in us...God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect....Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear."
oh Jesus, thank You for the Word.
"..if we dont love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? and He has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their Christian brothers and sisters."

so, what's God showing me? that it's okay to love. it's okay to love, even when its rejected or brushed off or not returned or whatever. and it's not only okay, but it's good, and it proves that i love Him, that i love people. :')
Holy Spirit is the best best best encourager ever.
love love love love...
I GET TO LOVE!!!!! oh my goodness im so excited and so happy.

love...hurts?

we talk about how good the love of God is. it really really is. His love for me is so outrageous and ridiculous it drives me crazy.

.......

but have you ever loved like God?

well, me being the stupid, radical human that i am, i started asking God to teach me how to love. you all know this. ive said it over and over. three years ago, now, it's been part of my daily prayer that i take seriously. that hasn't lost it's umph, every time i say it.

"God, teach me how to love."

that's the stupidest prayer ever. 

That prayer WILL be answered. and you WILL love like He does. 

but it so sucks sometimes.

because then you start REALLY loving people a lot. more than you "should". and it hurts to love them so much. people you barely even know, you start REALLY loving, who are sometimes located so far away. and it sucks. especially when you love them and they brush you off. [im not talking the lovey-dovey gf/bf love..this is like, sincere, pure love.]

this tiny little answered prayer will get you crying like a little girl in your bedroom with Jesus. this little sucker will get you to feel a way that you honestly can't describe with words. 

there's an up to this too though. people will notice it. your words, your actions, everything will shine love in it's purest form. and it's so great to love people like this. and the words from mentors that say "it's so exciting to see. you always hope for the best, but to actually see it is the best thing ever. you're GROWING in love!!!" it's soo awesome to simply be you, and for that alone encourage other people. it's pretty awesome, because i love encouraging people a lot.

i was holding back tears the entire two hour ride home. when i got home and everyone left, i was finally able to just let loose. ive been crying for a long time now, and i dont even know why...love? id put my money on it. 

anyway...i have no idea where im going with life now. God seems to be screwing all my plans every other day. which is good, cause i want His way. i know He lets me go that one day in-between for a reason. maybe to keep me on my toes or something..i dont know. 

more for me than for you

gotta just write these quotes down for my own sake.
"Gods might flame of love is even stronger than death. It hunts you down. it pursues you until your heart is sealed with a love that is stronger than lust and every addiction.
Oh, i love the God whose name is Jealous. His eyes are a blazing fire, burning away everything that seeks to compete with the affections of my heart. There in the sanctuary of my heart He will brook no rivals. It is in that place that God's holy love meets my holy Nazirite response. There, an inward burn takes place and the supreme pleasure of intimacy with God is experienced on the alter of my heart--an experience that is far more fulfilling than the temporal and fleeting pleasures of sexual lust and entertainment. i was created to burn."
"the nazirite, out of love and a higher vision, was actually choosing a lifestyle of holy discipline w hich was more conducive to experiencing the pleasure of God on his heart."
"Don't be afraid of loving God too much. the religious status quo will never understand your nazirite passion. but love never counts the cost. It always gets the most expensive thing in the house and pours it out on God."
"revival is simply a return to obedience"
"I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. When you obey my commandments, you remaiin in my love." [John 15:9-10]
"If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first. The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are not longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you." [john 15]
"no one can rob you of that joy." john 16
"But Nazirites spontaneously, joyfully and willingly appropriated the priestly seperation and condition of life because of an inward working of the Spirits grace."
"The desire of the Nazirite to be radically separated to God was first of all initiated by a preceding burning desire--the desire of God, who was intensely pursuing Nazirites."
"God is raising up hundreds of thousands of these 'radiant ones' in America who in their burning single-eyed devotion actually attract His favor and His face."

*deep breath* now that all that's written out, i can look back at it all in one spot. i have some writing on walls to do..:)

right now with Jesus, i really want to just lay in His arms. i really just want to be a little tiny little girl with Him. and be fearless in asking dumb questions that are on my mind. i dont want to pretend like im an adult and like i know stuff. it's useless, really, with Him. in the end, He knows what i know and what i dont know, so why pretend?

we were singing last night at FCC "i dont just love you, I like you. I'm your Father, your Daddy."

i was pondering these words. how is liking someone better than loving them? hahaha, and then i started thinking of how He says to love even our enemies. and recently, how i was so concerned that this one dude was bugging me SO much. and i knew i was commanded by God to love him....and i didnt want to love him because he was being an absolute rude jerk who needed to wipe his mouth out with toilet paper. and i was concerned because i really sincerely did not love this guy at all. and i thought i was wrong. but i was corrected. you can love someone and not really like them. loving a person is kind of respecting them. loving someone doesnt always mean you like them. :D which makes me happy. haha

so God doesnt JUST love me. He LIKES me too. whoa. that's pretty cool. God, the creator of the universe, the uncreated One likes ME.

that's a big deal to me.

and i was just watching the little video i made of us playing with echo's in the chili's parking lot last night. haha you know what i think? Holy Spirit really loves for us to have fun. He loves to hear us laugh when we're laughing and having fun in a completely pure way. its so awesome!! like, God isn't serious all the time. maybe seriously funny..

i love it so much.

like even Collin in the way he reminded us of Flint Lockwood from Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs. and how he did impressions PERFECTLY without even remembering the movie. hahah! 

a bit of encouragement

God was kind of encouraging me today. it's kinda weird, because i really dont battle with this, ever. but He was saying this stuff to me anyway and i think it might be so that i could encourage you :)

to all you rad Jesus lovers out there, He's got someone on this earth for you. it's true. He's picked him/her out just for you.
girls: he exists. He loves God sooo much, more than you. :) that's exciting, isn't it? a guy that loves God more than anything or anyone else. he's chasing after some giants, David-style. a man that truly lives out what he says he believes. he loves Jesus, just like you do. who's called to the same thing as you, who won't hold you back from your pursuit of God but will only encourage you in it. it's an absolutely beautiful, glorious, wonderful thought, i know. it excites me. i can't describe him perfectly to you 'cause i have no idea who he is for myself, much less you. haha, but he's there. i promise, because God promised.
guys: she's out there. she's so taken with Jesus, she's so fascinated. you might even know her now, [maybe not, i dont know] but she's SO taken with Jesus that neither of you know. haha. seriously, if you're a teenager, don't chase after her. let her find herself in Jesus. let her heart dream with Him. let her have her adventures with Him, because He is her first and eternal love.
and really, to both parties, you're not the only one on earth who loves Jesus the way you do. We are not alone in this. for me personally, i have sooo many brothers and sisters, from far and near, that love Jesus so much exactly the way i do. Encouraging them is one of my favorite things to do, because i love them and i want to watch them love God more and more. it's so exciting. i love people, but i especially love people that love Jesus the way i do. i love getting around those people and like last night when i said "we need to have a worship-night.." everyone got so excited. ahhh it's just so beautiful! we were talking about all the movies we wanted to watch together, and we were excited. but when those words left my mouth the excitement level sky-rocketed. i love it so much. i love crazy people who love Jesus to the extreme.
haha, it's so hard to believe sometimes that "THEY EXIST!" the first guy i met that realllllly loves Jesus like i do i was so fascinated. talking to him was so refreshing. he was saying things that i felt in my heart but couldnt put into words. he'd tell me about what he was doing or what he had done and he was really living out his love for Jesus; such a rare quality in people today. it made me so happy. it encouraged me. i had a "wow, God, guys that love You..they exist!" moment. haha, meeting that awesome man of God was God encouraging me. it's one thing to know it in your head, it's another to know it and see it. i love him a lot, he's the coolest brother i have.

when our hearts dream with His, when our thoughts are His, when our center is Him, everything else comes into place.

and when we all experience His love, we are able to love. Glory follows order. the order is Jesus first, everything else after.
so as an ending encouragement, go after God with all your heart. remember that He's alive. so when you get up and you don't feel like reading your Bible or talking to Him, He's alive. He's real. and like someone who loves you, He wants to spend time with you and see you. just a lot more than people. :) and He sees you and counts the seconds you have with Him. He doesn't forget one moment. He remembers every tiny step of obedience you take. and you WILL be rewarded for every little thing. He sees every movement of your heart towards Him, and He loves it so much. He rewards the seekers, they will find. if you knock on the door it will be opened to you. want God to speak to you? open your Bible. pray. you have to step into covenant with Him, but once that step is taken on your part, He will do His end of it too.
i love you, Jesus-lover, very very much. i love you because you love Him, because i love Him. 

it's gonna be wild, it's gonna be great, it's gonna be full of Me.

"I'm making plans to waste my life on You.."--John Mark McMillan
such a true statement.
Today i got home from classes, was satisfied with what i turned in to my comm1 teacher, was happy with the way i didn't cry all the way home, and was super stoked 'cause i feel like i can handle this class again. i got in my room, turned on "You deserve it all" by Josh Baldwin [right? lol] and just started talking to God.
i'd like to take this moment in time and say this--God talks back. He's got a crazzzyyyy plan. "it's gonna be wild, it's gonna be great, it's gonna be full of Me!" -Holy Spirit, via Jesus Culture [Come Away] it's so true. God has an amazing plan for me, and He's starting to unfold everything before my seventeen year old, awestruck eyes. No, it doesn't always make sense. i dont even see it the right way at times, andd a majority of the time im sitting here saying "God, that's impossible. but if it's Your will, You make it possible. i am willing." He planted this whole surf ministry idea in my head in August 2010. He has opened soo many doors for me. and just when it all looks impossible to me, He comes and reminds me of His promises and does something to prove to me that "yeah, Lisa! you're on the right track sweetie!" Even now, walking through these classes, He's teaching me. it's hard, it causes a lot of tears, i want to give up sometimes, and sometimes i just need a really long hug. but He's right there with me the entire time, taking each step WITH me, helping me keep my balance, and sometimes He even tells me a joke. =) That's how good He is to me.
anyway, i won't post exactly what's all going on this summer, 2011, BUT i will say that between today andd i think last week exactly to the day, He's given me a lot of direction, and He's continuing to open so many doors for me. wow, He's SO faithful to me! we'll see how it all pans out. if you're praying for me, be praying for:
1) continuing to give me ultra, crystal clear direction.
2) financial support!! [this is kind of a pretty big one right here.]
3) strength, faithfulness, steadiness, more of Jesus, more desperation, complete obedience etc etc etc..
and if you aren't praying for me, please do =) I'd really appreciate it so much!

He's doing so much in my life, even now at my still young age. it's really exciting. be excited with me :] haha, [i tell this to my mom all the time.]

Jesus is cool. end of story.

I was writing in a notebook/journal last night. i wrote these words, that completely shocked me in such a weird way, but also brought outrageous joy.
"He is so beautiful. His imagination is so perfect. No perversion is in Him."
i wasn't thinking about it. it just slipped out.

as i was cleaning up dishes this morning, i began to think about this phrase again. "No perversion is in Him."
that means i don't have to "watch myself" with God. i don't have to "turn the channel", i don't have to "hold the remote". i don't have to hide my eyes with Him. i don't have to guard myself against ANYTHING with Him. i don't have to make sure my heart doesn't get too attached, because "it may not work out".
goodness, do you know how wonderful this feeling is?!
with everything else in the world--music, tv, emotions, people, EVERYTHING, we have to watch ourselves to make sure no impure thing gets in. it rips me to shreds inside when it sneaks its' way in..
but with Jesus, i don't have to worry about anythinggg. i can let myself love freely. i can give all the love i have to Him, and i will never get hurt. He will never give up, He will never reject, He will never disappoint. i can fix my eyes on Him and nothing bad will come up. i can listen to Him, and He will never cuss or set a bad example, or ask me to do anything evil. He will always be love, give joy, peace, patience, will always be kind, faithful, and have self control. He will never be proud or boastful, He will always be hopeful and gentle. He will always be excellent and worthy of praise, He will always be honorable and right and admirable and true and pure. He will always free my heart; He sets every captive free. and when  i am with Him, i will never come away with the feeling of being drained out and dry; i will never feel like i need to puke because i am so full of junk. instead i feel clean and refreshed and pure at heart and in mind. wow..God's so cool.
it's such a weird idea that someone does exist who has no perversion at all in Him. but if He didnt, He wouldn't be God. it's mind-boggling, really. how did i not know this before?
i guess i knew this before, subconsciously, but now i KNOW it in my heart. there's a huge difference.