Today wasn't so much about presents or food, like everyone else, for me. It WAS a reminder of how much things are changing in my life, and in the people's lives around me.
change is bittersweet. bitter, because sometimes change means losing someone. that hurts, a lot. what hurts more is knowing that you're going to lose someone. bitter because my sister is in PA this year with her three boys and a sick husband. bitter because she had a sucky Christmas. bitter because watching my grandfather open his presents, everyone shed a tear. Sweet, because even though it hurts now, it will be worth it later. sweet because God is still God, and He's still right here with me. sweet, because God still does a lot in the midst of the pain, and the "morning" is something to look forward to. sweet, because God won't let me lose hope, He always gives me SOMETHING to hold to.
I've said this once already this week...but growing up really does suck sometimes. what we call "reality" smacks you in the face, hard. and i seem to run-run-run, trying to escape it, but i can't. Eventually i receive that smack, and it still hurts. no matter how long and hard i ran.
Holy Spirit encourages me. little reminders in my heart, things to look forward to.
i really want to crawl into His arms right now, and cuddle with Him, and forget everything.
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