He wants the good..and the bad

Even when i walk in the valley of the shadow of death, His perfect love is there, casting out fear...

"i will fear no evil for my God is with me, and if my God is with me, who, then, shall i fear?"

this is a good song...

you know, Jesus died so we could be free. "I am leaving you with a gift--peace of mind and heart. And the peace i give is a gift the world cannot give. So dont be troubled or afraid." John 14:27  im being challenged in that, am i REALLY living like a free person? He died so that i could live boldly and recklessly for Him, so that i dont have to fear one single thing ever in my entire life. i wont die a second before im supposed to, and i wont live a moment more than im supposed to. i wont walk through ANYTHING that im not supposed to walk through. 

so if He has total and complete control, why the heck do i fear? why do i worry? 

you know what that is? that's reserving myself..i haven't given it all to Him yet. i've been living half way for for someone who gave His all for me! I've been living such a lie!

Just like we can't take parts of God, that we have to take all or nothing, He won't take just some of us. He wants the good and the bad.

I'm keeping some of myself from Him! That's not living a laid down life. that's not being sold out. that's not being radical. that's not breaking my box at His feet!!!

OH MY GOSH im just now realizing this. how dumb! 

God is that what You've been asking for all this time? 

im kicking myself over this! i never even knew! like, i knew but i never saw it this way before. 

wow, and now im realizing that i have a lot of fears and worries...

i thought me and God were all good, but He wanted more! and i thought it was a different area in my life, but no! He wants my fearful self so that i can live in His freedom! 

He truly gives good, gooood gifts to His children. wow..