a bit of encouragement

God was kind of encouraging me today. it's kinda weird, because i really dont battle with this, ever. but He was saying this stuff to me anyway and i think it might be so that i could encourage you :)

to all you rad Jesus lovers out there, He's got someone on this earth for you. it's true. He's picked him/her out just for you.
girls: he exists. He loves God sooo much, more than you. :) that's exciting, isn't it? a guy that loves God more than anything or anyone else. he's chasing after some giants, David-style. a man that truly lives out what he says he believes. he loves Jesus, just like you do. who's called to the same thing as you, who won't hold you back from your pursuit of God but will only encourage you in it. it's an absolutely beautiful, glorious, wonderful thought, i know. it excites me. i can't describe him perfectly to you 'cause i have no idea who he is for myself, much less you. haha, but he's there. i promise, because God promised.
guys: she's out there. she's so taken with Jesus, she's so fascinated. you might even know her now, [maybe not, i dont know] but she's SO taken with Jesus that neither of you know. haha. seriously, if you're a teenager, don't chase after her. let her find herself in Jesus. let her heart dream with Him. let her have her adventures with Him, because He is her first and eternal love.
and really, to both parties, you're not the only one on earth who loves Jesus the way you do. We are not alone in this. for me personally, i have sooo many brothers and sisters, from far and near, that love Jesus so much exactly the way i do. Encouraging them is one of my favorite things to do, because i love them and i want to watch them love God more and more. it's so exciting. i love people, but i especially love people that love Jesus the way i do. i love getting around those people and like last night when i said "we need to have a worship-night.." everyone got so excited. ahhh it's just so beautiful! we were talking about all the movies we wanted to watch together, and we were excited. but when those words left my mouth the excitement level sky-rocketed. i love it so much. i love crazy people who love Jesus to the extreme.
haha, it's so hard to believe sometimes that "THEY EXIST!" the first guy i met that realllllly loves Jesus like i do i was so fascinated. talking to him was so refreshing. he was saying things that i felt in my heart but couldnt put into words. he'd tell me about what he was doing or what he had done and he was really living out his love for Jesus; such a rare quality in people today. it made me so happy. it encouraged me. i had a "wow, God, guys that love You..they exist!" moment. haha, meeting that awesome man of God was God encouraging me. it's one thing to know it in your head, it's another to know it and see it. i love him a lot, he's the coolest brother i have.

when our hearts dream with His, when our thoughts are His, when our center is Him, everything else comes into place.

and when we all experience His love, we are able to love. Glory follows order. the order is Jesus first, everything else after.
so as an ending encouragement, go after God with all your heart. remember that He's alive. so when you get up and you don't feel like reading your Bible or talking to Him, He's alive. He's real. and like someone who loves you, He wants to spend time with you and see you. just a lot more than people. :) and He sees you and counts the seconds you have with Him. He doesn't forget one moment. He remembers every tiny step of obedience you take. and you WILL be rewarded for every little thing. He sees every movement of your heart towards Him, and He loves it so much. He rewards the seekers, they will find. if you knock on the door it will be opened to you. want God to speak to you? open your Bible. pray. you have to step into covenant with Him, but once that step is taken on your part, He will do His end of it too.
i love you, Jesus-lover, very very much. i love you because you love Him, because i love Him. 

it's gonna be wild, it's gonna be great, it's gonna be full of Me.

"I'm making plans to waste my life on You.."--John Mark McMillan
such a true statement.
Today i got home from classes, was satisfied with what i turned in to my comm1 teacher, was happy with the way i didn't cry all the way home, and was super stoked 'cause i feel like i can handle this class again. i got in my room, turned on "You deserve it all" by Josh Baldwin [right? lol] and just started talking to God.
i'd like to take this moment in time and say this--God talks back. He's got a crazzzyyyy plan. "it's gonna be wild, it's gonna be great, it's gonna be full of Me!" -Holy Spirit, via Jesus Culture [Come Away] it's so true. God has an amazing plan for me, and He's starting to unfold everything before my seventeen year old, awestruck eyes. No, it doesn't always make sense. i dont even see it the right way at times, andd a majority of the time im sitting here saying "God, that's impossible. but if it's Your will, You make it possible. i am willing." He planted this whole surf ministry idea in my head in August 2010. He has opened soo many doors for me. and just when it all looks impossible to me, He comes and reminds me of His promises and does something to prove to me that "yeah, Lisa! you're on the right track sweetie!" Even now, walking through these classes, He's teaching me. it's hard, it causes a lot of tears, i want to give up sometimes, and sometimes i just need a really long hug. but He's right there with me the entire time, taking each step WITH me, helping me keep my balance, and sometimes He even tells me a joke. =) That's how good He is to me.
anyway, i won't post exactly what's all going on this summer, 2011, BUT i will say that between today andd i think last week exactly to the day, He's given me a lot of direction, and He's continuing to open so many doors for me. wow, He's SO faithful to me! we'll see how it all pans out. if you're praying for me, be praying for:
1) continuing to give me ultra, crystal clear direction.
2) financial support!! [this is kind of a pretty big one right here.]
3) strength, faithfulness, steadiness, more of Jesus, more desperation, complete obedience etc etc etc..
and if you aren't praying for me, please do =) I'd really appreciate it so much!

He's doing so much in my life, even now at my still young age. it's really exciting. be excited with me :] haha, [i tell this to my mom all the time.]

Jesus is cool. end of story.

I was writing in a notebook/journal last night. i wrote these words, that completely shocked me in such a weird way, but also brought outrageous joy.
"He is so beautiful. His imagination is so perfect. No perversion is in Him."
i wasn't thinking about it. it just slipped out.

as i was cleaning up dishes this morning, i began to think about this phrase again. "No perversion is in Him."
that means i don't have to "watch myself" with God. i don't have to "turn the channel", i don't have to "hold the remote". i don't have to hide my eyes with Him. i don't have to guard myself against ANYTHING with Him. i don't have to make sure my heart doesn't get too attached, because "it may not work out".
goodness, do you know how wonderful this feeling is?!
with everything else in the world--music, tv, emotions, people, EVERYTHING, we have to watch ourselves to make sure no impure thing gets in. it rips me to shreds inside when it sneaks its' way in..
but with Jesus, i don't have to worry about anythinggg. i can let myself love freely. i can give all the love i have to Him, and i will never get hurt. He will never give up, He will never reject, He will never disappoint. i can fix my eyes on Him and nothing bad will come up. i can listen to Him, and He will never cuss or set a bad example, or ask me to do anything evil. He will always be love, give joy, peace, patience, will always be kind, faithful, and have self control. He will never be proud or boastful, He will always be hopeful and gentle. He will always be excellent and worthy of praise, He will always be honorable and right and admirable and true and pure. He will always free my heart; He sets every captive free. and when  i am with Him, i will never come away with the feeling of being drained out and dry; i will never feel like i need to puke because i am so full of junk. instead i feel clean and refreshed and pure at heart and in mind. wow..God's so cool.
it's such a weird idea that someone does exist who has no perversion at all in Him. but if He didnt, He wouldn't be God. it's mind-boggling, really. how did i not know this before?
i guess i knew this before, subconsciously, but now i KNOW it in my heart. there's a huge difference.

get real

"Your generation has a 'real' radar. it's like you know when people are real or not." [paraphrased]--my psych teacher.
it's true. My generation is on the lookout for one thing; something REAL. and when we find this one real thing, we grab onto it and never let go. we get a little radical and a little crazy over that thing that we've found to be real. we don't care what people think about us, when we find something worth dying over, we will push life to it's limits.
"I'll take you with your hats on backwards, and your pink hair and your nose rings. 'cause you believe! you believe that you dont go to church to be entertained. you believe that you're not here because you need some type of social stimulation. you're here because you believe if somebody would equip you, you could shake the earth. you believe if somebody would put a weapon in your hand, you could begin to rake the gates of hell with message of the gospel of the Kingdom. because you are the most prophetic generation that's ever been. When you hear somebody that's real, you REACT, you respond and you'll go to war for that. that's why we found a generation that will die for this cause, because you believe that you have found something real."
-Damon Thompson
"i believe you are the most privilaged generation that has ever lived. not because of where things are in America right now, but because of where God is taking things. i don't believe there's ever been a generation that's going to experience what you experience. i believe youre gonna be privileged with the greatest outpouring of the Holy Spirit that any generation has ever experienced.  that means there's something in the DNA of this generation that has an intuitive ability to connect with the realm of the spirit, the supernatural, to hear from God to see the things of the spirit, to dream the dreams of heaven, to see visions from heaven, there's something in this generation, that for them it will come more easily than any other generation, but it is waiting to be awakened in some of you."
-Dutch Sheets

so, everyone on earth. you wanna see my generation love God and change the course of history? seriously, start being REAL. be real with struggles, don't try to cover it up. be real with and about God.
when you just get real with people and stop trying to act perfect and be goody-two-shoes, and actually admit real life problems, they feel like they can come to you with anything. and then that opens a door to pray for them...
which in the end could result in the biggest awakening ever to happen on the earth.
it breaks my heart to see so many people go through the religious acts. it's not real, and that screams "DONT COME HERE!" to my generation.
we are sick and tired of dead, dry, useless religion. it's true, we NEED and WANT an awakening, and we won't settle for less.

i think all of this is part of the reason you see some kids take up the holy lifestyle. fasting and prayer. nazirites. consecration to God--not having a boyfriend or girlfriend.
it's cause we're sick of everything else. and once we've found something real, we GO for it. it's described perfectly by these two men. they describe me perfectly.
i refuse to settle with going through the motions when there's more to it!
no, i dont know exactly where God's taking me with all of this. but ill take it, one baby step at a time. i know i have so much to learn and so much to experience. i know i seem so immature and childish. this is where i am.

so ill start with this being real thing.
i need Jesus. Im not getting enough of Him. i hate that i spend all day doing school and swimming. i hate that it's soo hard to fast because of swimming, because i want to fast food all together but it's not happening with swimming. i need clear clear direction for this summer because i dont feel like i hit the right door yet. i have had crazy dreams lately that i wish God would explain to me. and i need someone to text sporadically through out the day about Jesus, who is young, who will get as excited as i am about Jesus, who is like-hearted, and who has the same view as me.

there. im being completely real. now it's your turn, please, just be real. for the sake of my generation.

awakening

i got up this morning and was kind of sad..
one whole week since onething orlando. since hanging out with Jeremy and Kenny, since meeting Brittany, since being with a whole crowd of people who loves Jesus just like i do. it really is life-changing, i dont care what anyone says. and missing it is the sentimental side of me coming out..

but then i began to really think about why i missed it so much. i think i know why.

i was telling Gabe about one of the worship services and explaining it to him, and how it was just "SO COOL!" when he said "you got a taste of the awakening."
ahhh.
so i miss this awakening. i miss people, yes. it's not that i "miss" His presence, because He's been with me all week! it's the AWAKENING. He's given me a taste of awakening so that i can crave it.

God isn't One to let you taste something that you love and never let you taste it again.
i have had dream after dream this week that didn't make sense that NOW makes sense. i GET IT. i think.

AWAKENING. God, Awaken Florida! Awaken my city! Set every captive free, and receive the reward for Your suffering! place it on every intercessors heart, wake us up at mad hours of the night to pray for it. place a deep hunger in us to have it. and do not let our cries go unheard.

i am so desperate for Him in a greater measure than before. i don't want old, i want new. 

Lisa-Consecrated One

On the very first day of this year, Holy Spirit asked me if I'd consecrate myself to Him this year. My answer to Him is yes.
yes, i know i will be consecrated to Him by requirement when i go to ihop for an internship, or really anywhere, i am sure.  but i like to put it this way: I'd rather give excessively to Him than to hoard my time and my affections. i won't loose one single thing in this year with Him.
His flaming, burning-with-desire eyes that gaze straight at my heart in complete jealousy is NOT something i can ignore. His frighteningly beautiful gaze overwhelms me.
i was texting a friend of mine, kenny, who put it perfectly. he described my heart towards it perfectly: "it's like Jesus is getting me to a point where His love is the sustainer of my life."
plain and simple, i just couldnt put into words like that.
His love is all i need. and i can JOYFULLY live with that :)
This year, i am taking a bunch of big steps. i become, legally, an adult. i go into my senior year in high school. i go into my sophomore year in college. i am going to Costa Rica, as of right now. the list goes on and on, This year, i am making a lot of large decisions, and i dont want any "drama" to be  distracting me. it's not happening.
realistically, I've BEEN consecrated to Him..now that i think about it. hahaha, but id like to not share that story.
There's no one like Him in the heavens or in the earth, I'd like to know this Man better, who is like no one and who no one is like.

i was created to burn.

i started reading Nazirite DNA today by Lou Engle. 

im two chapters in, and re-reading what i already read. the chapters are two mini-pages long or so.

"The Nazirite theme could be "All of my fountains of pleasure are in You!" The Nazirite spontaneously and willingly separates himself from even the legitimate pleasures of this life in order to experience the One great all-consuming pleasure of knowing and loving God." [pgs 12 and 13]

reading some of these things makes my heart burn.

"the only qualification [to be a Nazirite] was to have a heart that intensely desired it." ["it" being near God.]

he mentions that God always gave Israel her Nazirites, especially when the nation was in trouble, because God had not given up on her.

God's calling America's Nazirites. 

i was talking to a really cool man of God today, he said this: 

"Jesus is getting me to a point where His love is the sustainer of my life."

yeah, i feel the same exact way, except i couldn't put it into words. my definition of this intense-craziness is "kajsdhfklhjsdfbvjcjdfhwuhusdfhjkbsdfkj!!!!" :)

"i just want to bless Your name, I just want to make You glad, I just want to move Your heart God, to give you All i am. 

it's by Your will, For Your pleasure i exist. You are worthy Lord! You are Worthy Lord! 

To Worship You i live to Worship You i live, i live i worship You."

this is my heart-cry. i told God today "i don't even care if You take me to Costa Rica or not. If i sit here in Titusville all my life and just play my guitar to You and minister to Your heart, as long as i make You glad, i will be happy."

dangerous prayer right there. only a select few people know this burning inside of me. it can make you jump with joy one moment and the very next you're on your face weeping. i am thankful that you understand. 

this deep deep longing inside me for Him is NOT something i can ignore. this passion and this love and this burning desire physically hurts. 

I LOVE HIM. and He's ALL i want.

what does this mean to you? well, if you're a guy, NO. if your intentions is to "talk" to me because you "like" me, i can PROMISE you that it's not gonna work. i have no interest in any guy, and right now im perfectly happy to spend 6-8 hours a day with Jesus, not with you. [actually, i'd rather it this way.] He loves me more than you ever could. :)

to everyone else..im not watching movies. im not messing around on video games. im not screwing around with pointless things. if you wanna spend time with me, the one thing that i really want to do is worship Him. whole heartedly. i know this sounds stiff, and maybe even boring to a lot of you. i dont care..

i want Jesus more than i want your approval of how i spend my time. 

i am NOT backing down from this. every day, i HAVE to have  a new, bigger passion for Him than i did the day before. my heart beats for Him. no one else. 

i LOVE Him. i cannot stress that enough. i know, those who talk to me regularly, especially those of you who catch me when im with Him, you wayyy know this because it's at the end of everything i say. but it's true. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!

and to give up legit. pleasures to have the extreme pleasure of intimately knowing God..well, they're not pleasures compared. <3

1.16.11

"like oil upon Your feet, like wine for You to drink, like water from my heart, i pour my love on You. if praise is like perfume, i lavish mine on You, 'til EVERY drop is gone, i pour my love.."

this song. i could lay on my face all day and sing it to Him.
i just wanna please His heart. i want my actions and worship to minister to His heart.

i feel SO loved right now.

one of the only things i remember Mike Bickle talking about last night was that God loves "up close", He wants to be in my heart just like i want to be in His. He wants to be close to me just like i want to be close to Him.

just like i want to be close to the people my heart loves, He wants to be close to me. in a literal sense.

and it's like ill have a blow-out week with Him [like this week between my own personal seeking time AND onething Orlando] but then, ill just want Him more than before.
but it's like that with people too i guess! when i am with a person i really really love for a day and then we go our own ways, i drive home thinking "wow..can i re-live that? i can't wait til the next time we get to hang out!"

i love Him, more than anyone else.

burning

My heart burns for Him. it's completely untamable, and unmanageable. 

I was so excited last night that i did not fall asleep until about 1am.

at 4am sharp, Holy Spirit woke me up. At first, my flesh was screaming "GO BACK TO SLEEP YOU HAVE A BIG DAY TODAY!" 

but then He said "I just want some of your affection this morning, and if you want Me to come when you ask, you should come when I ask."

so i got up. i prayed, i thought, i played, i paced, i read, i thought some more..

i got three hours of sleep. i will hopefully be up super late tonight at onething. 

"if your 'one thing' isn't your FIRST thing, then it's not really your one thing."--DT

good stuff. 

i screamed "My soul longs for You, Lord, in a dry and weary land! come and TAKE YOUR PLACE in the CENTER of my heart!" at the top of my lungs yesterday..

my whole WORLD has to revolve around Him. 

i am working towards this. i want my whole world to revolve around Him, i dont want to be chasing other things around or looking to someone or something for "stability"..He's gotta be IT for me. nothing and no one else. i want Him to be my ONE THING.

and i want Him to be able to come to me, whatever time it is, and ask me to do stuff. even if He just wants my worship, at 4am in the morning. 

i mean, think about it. when your best friend needs something, even IF it's some stupid hour of the morning, we get up and talk on the phone or whatever for however long they need us. 

well, Holy Spirit's my best friend. really. and if He wants anything from me, whenever it is, i AM willing to give it to Him, whenever. [i am partially saying this in faith, because i know im not all the way there yet.] When He calls to me, i will go. BECAUSE when i call for Him, He comes. simple as that. He gave His life for me, im giving my life for Him! no gray areas, no "in between", im done with that...

that "im between" lifestyle almost killed me. only by the great, burning jealousy and grace that God has for me am i still alive and breathing today. i am determined to get as far away from that as possible. im running straight to Jesus, no turning back. 

"MY bride"

i had a most interesting dream last night. about my wedding day. and i was getting ready for it, and like freaking out because my soon to be husband was waiting for me.
when i woke up i was asking God "What the heck was that? What are you saying to me?"
God speaks to me with songs a lot. whether they have the most beautiful lyrics ever, or no lyrics at all. Well, this morning He sang to me "You have ravished My heart" by Brian and Jenn Johnson

"No longer your master but your husband I will be. You have ravished My heart with one glance of your eyes. How fair is your love, my promised, my bride.."

He made it SO real to me. i am His bride!
He's waiting for me to be ready. So very patiently, and so lovingly.
and as He sits there waiting, He's telling me "you have ravished my heart with just one tiny glance from your eyes. i never miss it."
AHH...His love for me is so insane. He thinks i ravish His heart..haha. He ravishes mine! wayy more than i ever could ravish His.
you know that feeling in your heart that you get when you feel ultra loved? well, multiply that feeling by 1456654235845674895423212546748965263321200546878562456. That's how i feel.
He's sooo jealous for me! i don't think life could get better than it is right now.

pure as gold.

so you all know God's really had me laying stuff down recently. i wont go into details of all that I've been working on, but just know one thing: the things i've been laying down are important to me. still.

This morning i got up. Last night i had an awesome time with Him all alone in my room..
and He said this to me, first thing: "Lay down your precious possessions so that i can refine them and make them pure to give to you."
All He wants from me is to lay down what's important to me, have loose hands and allow Him to do what He wants with it, and He will make it CLEAN for me. Because He wants to give me good gifts, and good gifts are pure gifts. So really, taking my hands off of what i've got is just temporary! 'cause He's going to give it right back, just cleaner and prettier and better.

it's like when you find a bit of gold in the ground. at first it looks like a lot, but it's not clean.
then when you boil it down and burn all the impurities out of it, it may be "less", but it's worth more because it's PURE gold.
well, I'd rather take the little bit of pure gold than a lot of impure gold. and God knows that, so that's what He's giving me. He's so good to me.

people people people...

*sighh*
peoples minds are sooo perverted. you know those things you can "like" on facebook? here's one for you...
"hi, im a bra. and i get to touch your girlfriends boobs every day..jealous yet?"
ok..that's sooooo gross. i dont completely understand why people would want to be evil, and why people dont strive for purity and for holiness. why not? really, there's  nothing to lose, seen as how nothing is ours anyways.
it grieves my heart that i know people who have "liked" this. it makes me sad that it's cool for guys to be like that, and to call girls nasty names. 
im trying to nip that in the bud right now. the names i have been called are appalling, words that i'd like to not repeat. but the sad thing is nearly every girl out there DEALS WITH IT. or worse, AGREES WITH IT, and then, just as you think they couldn't go lower, they live up to it.  
to alllll you guys out there: when you call any girl a dirty name, ESPECIALLY if it's me, or one of my friends, know that you just dug yourself a hole, and i no longer respect you in any way.
it makes me so mad. and incredibly sad. 
i've never put up with these names, and i never will. 
so many guys need to clean up their act. it's not cool to be dirty like that. gross jokes aren't funny. filthy minds aren't something to admire. and you dont gain respect when you're like this. stop being such a perv. 


and the only reason i say this is because i love you.  very very much.

common sense?

When all the world is blossoming

And everything around is bursting into life

And I don't have to strain to hear the beat of Your heart

When all the world is under fire

When skies are threatening to thunder and rain

And I am overcome by fears that I can't see

If everything is Yours

Everything is Yours

If everything is Yours

I'm letting it go

it was never mine to hold

Who could command the stars to sing

Or hold the raging seas from breaking through the doors?

And tend the fragile roses with the very same hands

chorus

--Audrey Assad

This song kept playing itself over and over in my head for the entire hour and forty-five minutes today at swim practice. 

its soooo simple, and i soo wish i got this like 9 months ago. Everything is Gods. all of "my" stuff is His. my time, my stuff, my friends, my family, my food, my fitness, my life...

it's kinda silly, now that i think about it, to say "God..im not doing what You just asked me to do.." when really, i have nothing to lose. literally. ;) 

im glad

I'll be completely  honest. I'm really, really happy God isn't like people. 

people..[myself included.] talk talk talk, but do nothing about it. we "say" we love people. but then when life gets busy, we brush that same person that we "love" or even just "like" off. we don't "have time" for them anymore. we make excuses that we don't have a way to communicate, when really we do. if you really truly love someone, or even if you're just interested in the person and you want to get to know them better, you make the effort. you call, you text, you try to hang out, you keep in touch one way or another. but most people don't even love when they say they do. we're such fakers. 

God, on the wonderful other hand, is just perfect. He really DOES love us, and He takes time out of holding the universe together to be with ME. hmm..He thinks im a pretty big deal, huh? God: the creator of everything we know, takes "time" out of His day to be with ME. no matter what time it is. He never rejects me, He never talks crap about me to angels behind my back, He constantly, steadily, loves me. perfectly and flawlessly. 

and you can believe that I've had a cute little dandy life that's all flowers and sunshine..

ill be raw and real. 

it hasn't. im not living a lie. im not asking for a stupid pitty party--actually please dont. i hate those.

this is more of a testimony of what God's done in my life.

ive been "loved", but not really, and in the end rejected, by one of the people that i was the closest with. My Dad. im sure that he didn't go off and screw around to hurt me, or to cause me pain. but he'd say "im sorry, forgive me, i love you and ill never do it again" and then the very next week he's off the edge again. ive felt this rejection. im glad that this season of my life is over to our knowledge. i was "daddys girl"...well those few years that he was in and out, it really broke that. into pieces, really. 

so yes, i know the nasty side of humans. it's not easy for me to write all this down and publish for all my friends to see, because it's something id like to keep in my past, and not bring into present conversation, or even into my mind. but it was necessary today. this is just one of many examples, with many different people and many different situations. 

at the same time, i've seen the sweet side of God. the Daddy side, that i didn't get in some cases from my dad on earth..i learned early to depend on God. and that His love is enough for me. and that He's there. no matter what time it is, and no matter how dark and scary the storm gets. 

He ravishes His children's hearts. He never doesn't have time for us. He never gets tired of us and moves on to another person. He never rejects us. and best of all, you don't have to have a phone or Skype to talk to Him :) He's always there, waiting for us to call on His name. 

and as crazy as this sounds, i thank God for those times of trials. because it was THOSE times that i got close to God. it was during THOSE times that i simply stopped trying to hold myself together and just dropped everything at His feet. it was during THOSE times that He protected me. it was during THOSE times that He kept me away from the drama of relationships with guys, and simply kept me in His arms. it was during THOSE times that i learned how big God is, and how i can depend on Him all the time for anything. it was during THOSE times that i learned to just talk to God. to tell Him what's on my mind, to tell Him how angry i was, to tell Him how much i needed Him, and to WAIT on Him. i met God's mighty right arm, i saw it in action. :) i watched Him strengthen my fingers for the bronze bow and arrow. and the crazy thing is He kept me, and helped me throw out allll the baggage i came to Him with, every time it was thrown into my face.

i don't care who you are, or how much you love someone, or even me. you couldn't do what  God did for me. and that's why im happy God isn't like people.