im glad

I'll be completely  honest. I'm really, really happy God isn't like people. 

people..[myself included.] talk talk talk, but do nothing about it. we "say" we love people. but then when life gets busy, we brush that same person that we "love" or even just "like" off. we don't "have time" for them anymore. we make excuses that we don't have a way to communicate, when really we do. if you really truly love someone, or even if you're just interested in the person and you want to get to know them better, you make the effort. you call, you text, you try to hang out, you keep in touch one way or another. but most people don't even love when they say they do. we're such fakers. 

God, on the wonderful other hand, is just perfect. He really DOES love us, and He takes time out of holding the universe together to be with ME. hmm..He thinks im a pretty big deal, huh? God: the creator of everything we know, takes "time" out of His day to be with ME. no matter what time it is. He never rejects me, He never talks crap about me to angels behind my back, He constantly, steadily, loves me. perfectly and flawlessly. 

and you can believe that I've had a cute little dandy life that's all flowers and sunshine..

ill be raw and real. 

it hasn't. im not living a lie. im not asking for a stupid pitty party--actually please dont. i hate those.

this is more of a testimony of what God's done in my life.

ive been "loved", but not really, and in the end rejected, by one of the people that i was the closest with. My Dad. im sure that he didn't go off and screw around to hurt me, or to cause me pain. but he'd say "im sorry, forgive me, i love you and ill never do it again" and then the very next week he's off the edge again. ive felt this rejection. im glad that this season of my life is over to our knowledge. i was "daddys girl"...well those few years that he was in and out, it really broke that. into pieces, really. 

so yes, i know the nasty side of humans. it's not easy for me to write all this down and publish for all my friends to see, because it's something id like to keep in my past, and not bring into present conversation, or even into my mind. but it was necessary today. this is just one of many examples, with many different people and many different situations. 

at the same time, i've seen the sweet side of God. the Daddy side, that i didn't get in some cases from my dad on earth..i learned early to depend on God. and that His love is enough for me. and that He's there. no matter what time it is, and no matter how dark and scary the storm gets. 

He ravishes His children's hearts. He never doesn't have time for us. He never gets tired of us and moves on to another person. He never rejects us. and best of all, you don't have to have a phone or Skype to talk to Him :) He's always there, waiting for us to call on His name. 

and as crazy as this sounds, i thank God for those times of trials. because it was THOSE times that i got close to God. it was during THOSE times that i simply stopped trying to hold myself together and just dropped everything at His feet. it was during THOSE times that He protected me. it was during THOSE times that He kept me away from the drama of relationships with guys, and simply kept me in His arms. it was during THOSE times that i learned how big God is, and how i can depend on Him all the time for anything. it was during THOSE times that i learned to just talk to God. to tell Him what's on my mind, to tell Him how angry i was, to tell Him how much i needed Him, and to WAIT on Him. i met God's mighty right arm, i saw it in action. :) i watched Him strengthen my fingers for the bronze bow and arrow. and the crazy thing is He kept me, and helped me throw out allll the baggage i came to Him with, every time it was thrown into my face.

i don't care who you are, or how much you love someone, or even me. you couldn't do what  God did for me. and that's why im happy God isn't like people.