i was created to burn.

i started reading Nazirite DNA today by Lou Engle. 

im two chapters in, and re-reading what i already read. the chapters are two mini-pages long or so.

"The Nazirite theme could be "All of my fountains of pleasure are in You!" The Nazirite spontaneously and willingly separates himself from even the legitimate pleasures of this life in order to experience the One great all-consuming pleasure of knowing and loving God." [pgs 12 and 13]

reading some of these things makes my heart burn.

"the only qualification [to be a Nazirite] was to have a heart that intensely desired it." ["it" being near God.]

he mentions that God always gave Israel her Nazirites, especially when the nation was in trouble, because God had not given up on her.

God's calling America's Nazirites. 

i was talking to a really cool man of God today, he said this: 

"Jesus is getting me to a point where His love is the sustainer of my life."

yeah, i feel the same exact way, except i couldn't put it into words. my definition of this intense-craziness is "kajsdhfklhjsdfbvjcjdfhwuhusdfhjkbsdfkj!!!!" :)

"i just want to bless Your name, I just want to make You glad, I just want to move Your heart God, to give you All i am. 

it's by Your will, For Your pleasure i exist. You are worthy Lord! You are Worthy Lord! 

To Worship You i live to Worship You i live, i live i worship You."

this is my heart-cry. i told God today "i don't even care if You take me to Costa Rica or not. If i sit here in Titusville all my life and just play my guitar to You and minister to Your heart, as long as i make You glad, i will be happy."

dangerous prayer right there. only a select few people know this burning inside of me. it can make you jump with joy one moment and the very next you're on your face weeping. i am thankful that you understand. 

this deep deep longing inside me for Him is NOT something i can ignore. this passion and this love and this burning desire physically hurts. 

I LOVE HIM. and He's ALL i want.

what does this mean to you? well, if you're a guy, NO. if your intentions is to "talk" to me because you "like" me, i can PROMISE you that it's not gonna work. i have no interest in any guy, and right now im perfectly happy to spend 6-8 hours a day with Jesus, not with you. [actually, i'd rather it this way.] He loves me more than you ever could. :)

to everyone else..im not watching movies. im not messing around on video games. im not screwing around with pointless things. if you wanna spend time with me, the one thing that i really want to do is worship Him. whole heartedly. i know this sounds stiff, and maybe even boring to a lot of you. i dont care..

i want Jesus more than i want your approval of how i spend my time. 

i am NOT backing down from this. every day, i HAVE to have  a new, bigger passion for Him than i did the day before. my heart beats for Him. no one else. 

i LOVE Him. i cannot stress that enough. i know, those who talk to me regularly, especially those of you who catch me when im with Him, you wayyy know this because it's at the end of everything i say. but it's true. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!

and to give up legit. pleasures to have the extreme pleasure of intimately knowing God..well, they're not pleasures compared. <3