burning

My heart burns for Him. it's completely untamable, and unmanageable. 

I was so excited last night that i did not fall asleep until about 1am.

at 4am sharp, Holy Spirit woke me up. At first, my flesh was screaming "GO BACK TO SLEEP YOU HAVE A BIG DAY TODAY!" 

but then He said "I just want some of your affection this morning, and if you want Me to come when you ask, you should come when I ask."

so i got up. i prayed, i thought, i played, i paced, i read, i thought some more..

i got three hours of sleep. i will hopefully be up super late tonight at onething. 

"if your 'one thing' isn't your FIRST thing, then it's not really your one thing."--DT

good stuff. 

i screamed "My soul longs for You, Lord, in a dry and weary land! come and TAKE YOUR PLACE in the CENTER of my heart!" at the top of my lungs yesterday..

my whole WORLD has to revolve around Him. 

i am working towards this. i want my whole world to revolve around Him, i dont want to be chasing other things around or looking to someone or something for "stability"..He's gotta be IT for me. nothing and no one else. i want Him to be my ONE THING.

and i want Him to be able to come to me, whatever time it is, and ask me to do stuff. even if He just wants my worship, at 4am in the morning. 

i mean, think about it. when your best friend needs something, even IF it's some stupid hour of the morning, we get up and talk on the phone or whatever for however long they need us. 

well, Holy Spirit's my best friend. really. and if He wants anything from me, whenever it is, i AM willing to give it to Him, whenever. [i am partially saying this in faith, because i know im not all the way there yet.] When He calls to me, i will go. BECAUSE when i call for Him, He comes. simple as that. He gave His life for me, im giving my life for Him! no gray areas, no "in between", im done with that...

that "im between" lifestyle almost killed me. only by the great, burning jealousy and grace that God has for me am i still alive and breathing today. i am determined to get as far away from that as possible. im running straight to Jesus, no turning back.